Feel very crappy now...So going to write something emotional....you can skip this post if you don't feel like reading anything emotional...
Two days ago when I was using the comp for a while and I accidentally saw my sis msn contact list, and there was only 69 people...so I laughed at her...
" What only 69?"
and she reply this that led me thinking.,she reply...
"So what if I have only 69 contacts, at least I have a TRUE friend, I bet u have so many friends but no true friends..."
Today when I was at my teacher's wedding, and he was thanking all his friends and some special ones for they stand by his side when he was down, listen to his problem and share his problem with him...after hearing I feel empty...very empty.
In my dictionary, Friends are just people I know, I go out with and people I talk to, But this two words "True Friend" never appear in my dictionary before. Now then I know that True Friends are friends who support you and listen to you when you are down, so I tried to search my memory for this kind of person but there was none...
There is no such person I know listen to me without any complain, no such person who support me when I am down and no such person who can be sensitive towards me...
Now then realize...I can't just scribble all my problem on my heart, I can't do that forever, I will got haywire one day, but it's the only thing I can do now, or at lease I can only say out all my problems to the Friend I can trust and people like me who it's impossible to meet...
For This I question myself everyday, "Am I really that hard to be with?" and even "Why does other people have friends they can trust... But what about me?" This questions trouble me and had added to the collection of scars on my heart...
And now I am chasing people away from me, I didn't want to do it, but deep inside me someone or something persuading me to do it...Maybe u might think that all this are fake, if u really think it is then there is nothing I can do about it...
I might sound despo but I really would wish to find this True Friend sooner or later...
Two days ago when I was using the comp for a while and I accidentally saw my sis msn contact list, and there was only 69 people...so I laughed at her...
" What only 69?"
and she reply this that led me thinking.,she reply...
"So what if I have only 69 contacts, at least I have a TRUE friend, I bet u have so many friends but no true friends..."
Today when I was at my teacher's wedding, and he was thanking all his friends and some special ones for they stand by his side when he was down, listen to his problem and share his problem with him...after hearing I feel empty...very empty.
In my dictionary, Friends are just people I know, I go out with and people I talk to, But this two words "True Friend" never appear in my dictionary before. Now then I know that True Friends are friends who support you and listen to you when you are down, so I tried to search my memory for this kind of person but there was none...
There is no such person I know listen to me without any complain, no such person who support me when I am down and no such person who can be sensitive towards me...
Now then realize...I can't just scribble all my problem on my heart, I can't do that forever, I will got haywire one day, but it's the only thing I can do now, or at lease I can only say out all my problems to the Friend I can trust and people like me who it's impossible to meet...
For This I question myself everyday, "Am I really that hard to be with?" and even "Why does other people have friends they can trust... But what about me?" This questions trouble me and had added to the collection of scars on my heart...
And now I am chasing people away from me, I didn't want to do it, but deep inside me someone or something persuading me to do it...Maybe u might think that all this are fake, if u really think it is then there is nothing I can do about it...
I might sound despo but I really would wish to find this True Friend sooner or later...
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